Thursday, May 26, 2011

Big Ole' Jet airliner

Ready for take off????

I hope I registered for a baby parachute cause Whitter is going on his first plane. Our family is flying to MA to see Grammy, Grandpa TK, and Auntie Shan. Needless to say everyone in the southern fraction of Club Kilcoyne is pumped for our big adventure. Despite our excitement I can't help wondering what fun awaits us at TSA.

Will Whit be felt up? Does he have to take his shoes off at security? Am I ready to embrace being "those" parents in the airport? Right now my fingers are crossed for pity. Pity from folks that see us with our super cute kiddo. They'll say things like, "Go on the plane first" and "Please cut in line everywhere." Actually I'm pretty positive that peeps will be giving us a hardcore case of the stank eye! Got a hunch we're going to be THOSE dreaded people.

I've come to terms with the fact that we are going to look like a 3 ring circus. Chris will be the sherpa and I will act as security for child and valuables like goldfish crackers. Think I've got my basics covered like a Maclaren, car seat carrier, baby bags, carry on, and enough puff's to bust the 50lb checked bag fee.

Wish us luck and pray Whit's third word isn't something like boom or bomb.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Snap Happy

Rainbows and bunnies to...

snaps and claps to Whit P for sleeping till 5AM last night! No crying, no fighting, and we all woke up happy.

snaps and claps to my paycheck. I love you and miss you. Why do you only come every two weeks?

snaps and claps to a BJ's membership. Applestraws in bulk are worth the price of admission.

snaps and claps to Cracker Barrel corn muffins. I ate 3 of them for dinner last night. I am not embarrassed or ashamed to own it.

snaps and claps to having a niece this week. I hope she understands that I am the best Aunt ever . Mainly because I am the only Aunt she has! Isabella welcome to the block.

Ginger kids and rusty nails to...

boo and hiss for debating the length of shorts. is this length mom? if i bend can you see my chunky post prego thighs? praise be to J.Crew for offering three various lengths that come in prostatot, aging gracefully, and senior center. Obviously I've selected the aging gracefully length.

boo and hiss for medical bills. I knew my husband was crazy kidding! Did we really need the CT and MRI to tell us that?

boo and hiss because my cats refuse to use a scratching post. Our new sectional sofa doesn't need to look like swiss cheese care of Baxter paws! We literally have a tree trunk in our house in the hope to lure the cats away from puff goodness.

Merry Friday and a Happy Weekend.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


I betcha she is making a simple french summer salad.

Does your meat need tenderizing?

I love watching Ina Garten on the Food network. She makes some highly yummy dishes. However, after watching a marathon session in bed I got curious about her relationship with her husband Jeffery. Why does he stay in the city all week? Does she only feed the man roast chicken? Is Jeffery using Ina as his beard? Too many deep thoughts for meringue making!

Ina reminds me a little too much of Kathy Bates from Misery. Maybe she has Jeffery chained to a bed. Food induced confinement? I could seriously see this woman force feeding Jeffery a stuffed capon and Herb de Provence!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Snap Cup

Totally copied one of my new favs, KLaw. Her blog is real and awesome. Makes me feel like a "normal" mama!

Snaps and Claps care of Elle Woods

Snaps and Claps to finally learning how to do a proper blow out. My hair has looked great twice this week! Questionable to the other 5 days.

Snaps and Claps to date night. Chris and I had an adult conversation while consuming food. No picking up board books, rattles, or napkin chewing.

Snaps and Claps to Whit having his 1st date. Boyfriend worked on his fitness at the Little Gym while trying to grope his little lady friend Ella. Whit has zero game.

Snaps and Claps to actually going to Church. We did it God. Hopefully lighting won't strike me down.

Snaps and Claps to Beth taking over the west coast! I'll be the Audrinna to your LC. Proud of ya bestie.

Boo and Hiss

Boo and Hiss to loosing sleep. Whit Patrick, I know you love me. Do you really need to see me at 3 AM?

Boo and Hiss to unpacking summer clothes. I wish my drawers would fill themselves. Mary Poppins are you free?

Boo and Hiss to lots of crappy people. Yes, I am talking about you annoying $ store employee and person who said I was like Sarah Palin. I want 3 balloons and I can't see Russia from Ashland.

Boo and Hiss to not finding a swimsuit. The post baby body is an evil thing. I guess my real hate should be directed at gravity.

Boo and Hiss gravity...

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Low Cal Mental State

My eyeballs hurt. Pain like I cried alligator tears or have been on an all night bender! I am assuming the root cause of my puffy sockets are not from the royal wedding rather instead from carrying toxic crap around. I’m really good at hauling about every last detail. Seriously, who remembers if someone forgot to buy milk (twice and husband) 2 months ago!?!

Actually, I’ve got it pretty good. My husband likes me, I like my husband back, my kid is functioning / awesome, work ain’t that shabby, a few close gal pals…doesn’t seem that bad. Why can’t I focus on all of that? Instead I get my hairs split over drama! It is hard when said drama is about family and not The Young and The Restless hence, I digress. My attempts are to get past all the poo and on to the new rhyming is fun.

I’ve listed a lot of my “issues”. Some are public while others are private. A list doesn’t accomplish much but, man it felt good to see on paper. Some stuff amazed me aka I can cite things from 2001 and 2005 that still tick me off! I.E. a failed college lipsync / dance that still makes me cringe or not saving more money from my first grown up job. There are some of the minor details. Obvioulsy ya catch my drift by now.

Everything that has been stuck in my crawl is now exposed. I feel so mentally naked!

Anything on your list??

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