Tuesday, December 13, 2011

She's Back

Happy and Healthy for 2012!

I needed a vacation from the thoughts. Didn’t really want to think about being peppy or Sally share all! I blog to be pithy and light. Frankly the few who read this don’t need to hear me scream ala Nancy Kerrigan , “Why me!!!” Have the past few months had changes, been difficult, trying, taxing, etc…why yes; yes they have. Taking some time to reflect away from das blog was for the best. Who likes a spiteful bitch?

All said, things are finally on the upside of anger. The five second recap goes as follows: Husband and child are both present and accounted for. Roof, jobs, and food all covered. Heath is at a strong 75%. Family of 3 moving onward to 2012!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

To Grandmothers House We Went

A bomb pop is a vital part of any food pyramid.

We made it back from Boston is one piece. Whit flew like a business class pro. When we landed on the ground a small riot due to the extreme cuteness.

Grammy and Grandpa battled for 5 days but, sadly Grandpa may have one this battle. Grammy is already plotting her rematch. Despite these two forces Aunt Shan also made a strong campaign and could be a write in winner! All and all it was great to be with family.

The only craptastic part of the trip is Whit was sick. Boyfriend had strep, ear infection, and thrush ( thank you to mother of sick child who decided to send their germs the week before our mini vaca. i hope to repay you with a muffin basket full of chicken pox.) I give Whit some major props for remaining happy despite such major issues.

Things were kept pretty low key. No big ventures to the city or cape. Chris and I had a mini date out. Took Whit to a local zoo and were attacked by mini goats.

Happy to be home and feeling better.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Big Ole' Jet airliner

Ready for take off????

I hope I registered for a baby parachute cause Whitter is going on his first plane. Our family is flying to MA to see Grammy, Grandpa TK, and Auntie Shan. Needless to say everyone in the southern fraction of Club Kilcoyne is pumped for our big adventure. Despite our excitement I can't help wondering what fun awaits us at TSA.

Will Whit be felt up? Does he have to take his shoes off at security? Am I ready to embrace being "those" parents in the airport? Right now my fingers are crossed for pity. Pity from folks that see us with our super cute kiddo. They'll say things like, "Go on the plane first" and "Please cut in line everywhere." Actually I'm pretty positive that peeps will be giving us a hardcore case of the stank eye! Got a hunch we're going to be THOSE dreaded people.

I've come to terms with the fact that we are going to look like a 3 ring circus. Chris will be the sherpa and I will act as security for child and valuables like goldfish crackers. Think I've got my basics covered like a Maclaren, car seat carrier, baby bags, carry on, and enough puff's to bust the 50lb checked bag fee.

Wish us luck and pray Whit's third word isn't something like boom or bomb.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Snap Happy

Rainbows and bunnies to...

snaps and claps to Whit P for sleeping till 5AM last night! No crying, no fighting, and we all woke up happy.

snaps and claps to my paycheck. I love you and miss you. Why do you only come every two weeks?

snaps and claps to a BJ's membership. Applestraws in bulk are worth the price of admission.

snaps and claps to Cracker Barrel corn muffins. I ate 3 of them for dinner last night. I am not embarrassed or ashamed to own it.

snaps and claps to having a niece this week. I hope she understands that I am the best Aunt ever . Mainly because I am the only Aunt she has! Isabella welcome to the block.

Ginger kids and rusty nails to...

boo and hiss for debating the length of shorts. is this length mom? if i bend can you see my chunky post prego thighs? praise be to J.Crew for offering three various lengths that come in prostatot, aging gracefully, and senior center. Obviously I've selected the aging gracefully length.

boo and hiss for medical bills. I knew my husband was crazy kidding! Did we really need the CT and MRI to tell us that?

boo and hiss because my cats refuse to use a scratching post. Our new sectional sofa doesn't need to look like swiss cheese care of Baxter paws! We literally have a tree trunk in our house in the hope to lure the cats away from puff goodness.

Merry Friday and a Happy Weekend.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


I betcha she is making a simple french summer salad.

Does your meat need tenderizing?

I love watching Ina Garten on the Food network. She makes some highly yummy dishes. However, after watching a marathon session in bed I got curious about her relationship with her husband Jeffery. Why does he stay in the city all week? Does she only feed the man roast chicken? Is Jeffery using Ina as his beard? Too many deep thoughts for meringue making!

Ina reminds me a little too much of Kathy Bates from Misery. Maybe she has Jeffery chained to a bed. Food induced confinement? I could seriously see this woman force feeding Jeffery a stuffed capon and Herb de Provence!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Snap Cup

Totally copied one of my new favs, KLaw. Her blog is real and awesome. Makes me feel like a "normal" mama!

Snaps and Claps care of Elle Woods

Snaps and Claps to finally learning how to do a proper blow out. My hair has looked great twice this week! Questionable to the other 5 days.

Snaps and Claps to date night. Chris and I had an adult conversation while consuming food. No picking up board books, rattles, or napkin chewing.

Snaps and Claps to Whit having his 1st date. Boyfriend worked on his fitness at the Little Gym while trying to grope his little lady friend Ella. Whit has zero game.

Snaps and Claps to actually going to Church. We did it God. Hopefully lighting won't strike me down.

Snaps and Claps to Beth taking over the west coast! I'll be the Audrinna to your LC. Proud of ya bestie.

Boo and Hiss

Boo and Hiss to loosing sleep. Whit Patrick, I know you love me. Do you really need to see me at 3 AM?

Boo and Hiss to unpacking summer clothes. I wish my drawers would fill themselves. Mary Poppins are you free?

Boo and Hiss to lots of crappy people. Yes, I am talking about you annoying $ store employee and person who said I was like Sarah Palin. I want 3 balloons and I can't see Russia from Ashland.

Boo and Hiss to not finding a swimsuit. The post baby body is an evil thing. I guess my real hate should be directed at gravity.

Boo and Hiss gravity...

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Low Cal Mental State

My eyeballs hurt. Pain like I cried alligator tears or have been on an all night bender! I am assuming the root cause of my puffy sockets are not from the royal wedding rather instead from carrying toxic crap around. I’m really good at hauling about every last detail. Seriously, who remembers if someone forgot to buy milk (twice and husband) 2 months ago!?!

Actually, I’ve got it pretty good. My husband likes me, I like my husband back, my kid is functioning / awesome, work ain’t that shabby, a few close gal pals…doesn’t seem that bad. Why can’t I focus on all of that? Instead I get my hairs split over drama! It is hard when said drama is about family and not The Young and The Restless hence, I digress. My attempts are to get past all the poo and on to the new rhyming is fun.

I’ve listed a lot of my “issues”. Some are public while others are private. A list doesn’t accomplish much but, man it felt good to see on paper. Some stuff amazed me aka I can cite things from 2001 and 2005 that still tick me off! I.E. a failed college lipsync / dance that still makes me cringe or not saving more money from my first grown up job. There are some of the minor details. Obvioulsy ya catch my drift by now.

Everything that has been stuck in my crawl is now exposed. I feel so mentally naked!

Anything on your list??

Friday, April 29, 2011

Wills can you see my eye bags?

Why don't Americans wear hats? Just sayin cause they are super fabulous!

All you reading this can probably see the gigantic bags under my eyes. It looks like I got sucker punched! Welp, I woke up at 4 AM had myself a scone, more like 2, and started watching the Royals. Lord Whit Patrick and HRH Christopher joined an hour later. Bottles all around!! The gals I work with were total dolls and supported my crazy need for pomp and circumstance. Check out my wardrobe today. Looks more like Four Weddings and a Funeral (can we tell which I attended) but, it was my most POSH LBD. Cheers for the newlyweds and 3 cheers for hitting my bed early!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Union Jack

My teapot is boiling over with excitement! Break out the scones and funny hats because tomorrow is the BIG day. Wills and Kate (cause they are my besties) are finally tying the knot. Call me Lady Kilcoyne because I'll be front row center i.e. ass parked on sofa city. Despite my lack luster viewing spot I'm still pumped. Below is my microwave lemon curd recipe. Yummo with scones!

Lemon Curd

1 C sugar

3 Eggs

1 C lemon juice (fresh or fresh from the bottle)

3 zested lemons

1/2 C butter

Pinch of Salt

Stir together. Microwave for about 1 to 2 minutes. Break to stir. Done when it coast a spoon. Consistency is a cross between Jello and a Egg white!

Happy Scone dippin' and tea sippin'!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Smell the Flowers

The Good

Roses to no headaches for Chris this week. Meds hopefully have done their job.

Roses to not buying lunch this week! I managed to make my own Lean Cuisines and eat all week.
Roses to having awesome pictures of Whit. He was a champ at his portrait session. I'll post some shots soon!

Roses for my parents driving down from NJ. Mama needs a sleep break.

Roses for chocolate covered peeps. It taste like a Cadburry Egg and Peep had a baby. Loves!


Thorns because baby boy is still waking up in the middle of the night. I suck at cry it out and would love a magic wand or something.

Thorns to my paycheck magically disappearing. I miss you money. Please come back.

Thorns for gas prices. Seriously, see above!!

Looking forward to a wonderful Easter weekend.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Summer lovin

Cravings at the moment....

Can we say wishing and hoping? Mama wants some stuff! I may break down and actually treat myself to a shellac mani. My hands look like they need a senior center! Blame bottle washing or endless diaper changing for the lack of life in my digits! Anyone else craving some summer loot?

Friday, April 15, 2011

Moobs and Sweet Tea

Happy naked Friday! Look at my armpit rolls!

Major props to McDonalds $1 Sweet Tea. You complete me daily. Without I would cease to function. Is it sad that the McDonalds lady knows my name, order, and car?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

every rose has a thorn

Sorry to be so blah in my last post. I think I just needed to let out a good helping of verbal crap! Things are going much better at Club Kilcoyne.

A friend of mine list out her Roses and Thorns of the week. Kinda like the good v. the ugly. Thought it might by cool to try.

Sunshine fabulousness

Rose: Biscoff Spread! Tasty deliciousness gifted by co-worker in hour of need. Spread is so yummy and taste like a peanut butter gingerbread man. I'm in love

Rose: Broke down and bought the baby Rolls Royce of umbrella strollers. I heart my new Maclaren. Whit loves the freedom of being able to access / snack on his feet at will.

Rose: Whit feeding himself yogurt bites and crawling backwards. I did the mom happy dance for both events.

Rose: Everyone in my house being healthy for 10 days!!!

Now for the craptacular

Thorn: My lawn looks like the rain forest. We've paid a lawn service for 2 months and the weeds are still invading.

Thorn: Pollen. It is green. My car is white. My nose was normal now it's not.

Thorn: Nagging my husband about taking his new meds. Trying to be less (s)mother like.

Thorn: My DVR erased The Vampire Diaries!! I need some Damon stat.

Anyone else feeling rosy??

Monday, April 11, 2011

The STROKE of midnight

The past two weeks I keep thinking about one line from Disney’s Cinderella. At the stroke of midnight all will be broken. Albeit Cinderella, it makes sense for this moment in time. Ironically fitting at one point things are just a dream and the next they are shattered. 15 days ago Chris was rushed via ambulance to the ER with stroke symptoms. 10 days after that my dear husband was experiencing the same phenomena. He lost function of his body, forgot me, forgot our son, lost speech, and was a shell of himself. Hours passed and Chris slowly came back to life. His memories getting stronger. His body becoming less stricken by numbness. The whole incident was washed away by my husband’s normal humor. What happened? What went wrong? Doctors ran test after test. . Chris suffers from complicated migraines that mimic stroke symptoms. It can and will happen again. We know there was no evidence of brain loss . Chris is now taking a medicine the helps with seizure disorders as well as the prevention of migraines. We are waiting to see a specialist at either Johns Hopkins or UVA. 15 days ago my life was dull. My life was seemingly happy with bumps (a fat day, no shopping, a fight about the dishwasher). In an instant an entire life just flashed before my eyes. More children, a future, our son, my husband’s condition, and me as caretaker. If Chris did have a stroke would Whit ever know him? What would I do? How would I provide enough love and time? Could I be someone’s partner? Such cruel questions to reflect on but, they all crossed my mind. In answering each of these questions the only answer I knew to say was “for better or worse”. This is the worst. This is my husband. This is my life. I couldn’t leave or escape. My only known now and then is THIS is what marriage is. Not the white dress, joint checking, or a sweet baby but, two people forged together out of love. Frankly, I don’t know where things stand. I know for the moment Chris has remained symptom free for 6 days. I feel out of control. My eyes can burst into tears at any moment. Whit is holding me together. I just want health for my family. We go day to day. Now I try and look at each day. Embrace my son and my husband because it can all literally go away in one clock stroke.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Lucky 7

Whit is 7 months today. I am in shock that my baby is slowly becoming a boy. I am determined to find Rick Moranis and have him shrink my kiddo forever!

Current Whitisms include:
He can give a big wet kiss, high five, and a sorta kinda almost there hug

He can sit by himself and gets down into a crawling position.

Chris swears he hears him say dada. I swear he is crazy because Whit would only say mama.

He likes to babble to anyone but, mostly Baxter cat.

At the babysitter each morning he gets a thrill out of the little kids playing.

Whit is wearing a size 12 months. Obviously, meals are important.

He can stand and hold onto something or someone. Not pulling up yet but, trying. Better at banging head into things while attempting.

Whit loves Baxter cat and hates Gretchen cat. The feeling is mutual with Gretchen.

Little dude has two chompers and is in the process of cutting his third.

Loves his walker and has just started stepping forward.

His favorite toy is our phone. When he is fussy I’ll call anyone to have them talk. This instantly calms him down.

You mean he can’t wear tights?

Roll Tide

During pregnancy I dreamed of little girl things. Bows, tights, dresses, etc. SURPRISE we had a boy and poof all those dresses went adios! I am constantly challenged by boy clothes. Shorts, pants, tops and sometimes a fun or not so fun graphic. Who dresses a baby with skulls??? Seriously! Whit can’t wear sweets with trucks everyday! Boyfriend needs some options up in his closet.

In my quest for cuteness I stumbled upon Pennington & Bailes. My husband works in, loves, and breathes college sports. It was only logical to have Whit sport some of daddy’s team fav’s. I couldn't be more thrilled with this brand. Not only does Whit look preppy chic but, I can avoid those stupid JonJons for something more boyish. Who likes a JonJon anyways? Any other good options for chic boy clothes?

Monday, March 14, 2011

Call me Carrie

My Monday is made! The Glamerous Newlywed has totally jazzed up my work wardrobe. Totally freaking out like Justin Bieber is next to me! Check out her blog / selections!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

6 deep

While I was still good and knocked up A co-worker gave me parenting advice, "Survive the first 6 months." At first I thought it sounded so cruel. Survive? What is that supposed to mean? Of course I'll survive with my perfect, wonderful, non-crying new baby! Everyday would be a journey and blessing. Now looking back on the first 6 months of motherhood the awkward statement rings true.
I'm a survivor of sleepless nights, colds, that blue nose booger thingy, swaddle blankets, teething gels, exploding diapers and a variety of other motherly tasks. There are days when I feel pretty clueless and don't have a faintest idea of what I am doing (I.E. googling forums about cat bites and constipation associated with bananas) . I don't have this parenting business down but, I have indeed survived.
Please insert cheesy Destiny's Child music now.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Tramps like us

What exit?
Every day when I drive home from work I scan the XM stations. I always pause on Bruce Springsteen radio. My hope is Born to Run will be on and I can crank it. 9 out of 10 times the song isn’t on but, I live for the 1 instance. For some odd reason I can picture my life in the lines. I see growin up in Ocean City, driving to college,Chris and I dating, getting married, having Whit, Whit’s first steps to graduation to his wedding. The lyrics don’t necessarily reflect these milestones but, I can literally hear and vision my life. There is never any bad but, just sweetness. I don’t think about sleepless nights, budgets, or a dirty house. For few minutes I embrace a wonderful poetic snap shot of my husband and son. I guess the song is my own personal love letter.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Peg leg and bushy brows

"Mommy, I like your Jeans!"
Tweezers meet Jenn

Relax fit...ultra slimming!

Mom Jeans Theory : Once child is popped from womb style goes to the shitter.

I can’t say I’ve embraced the peg leg classic fit Lee’s just yet but, I do admit to becoming a bit lax in the maintenance department. My eyebrows look like Brooke Shields circa 1986. My hair was last cut 2 months ago. Shaving, let’s not even cross that bridge folks! Cause of this sudden impairment = WPK. I love the focker but, my eyebrows also like a nice little Asian lady! Can I find balance?

Some Botox in my life...

It smells like basement and sounds like Nelly!

Aren't our shirts fabu?

When did we all become old? I want to know the moment it happened. Just to clarify, I’m not talking rocking chair on a front porch old but, I have a mortgage / family car old! Our lives went from St. Elmo’s to The Big Chill in the blink of an eye. Rob Lowe; can you hear me? Suddenly there are well baby visits, aging parents, job stress, bills, a house, etc and so on. Sometimes I wish I could blink and be knees deep in stale basement beer, spiking a Sonic drink, or singing stupid sorority songs. Instead we are life improving, soul searching, or just trying to manage.

To the ladies who are maturing with me, I dedicate this post to you. We’ve seen a lot and continue to go through the trenches. I’ve opted to put the “big girl pants” on hold for a few hours. I’ll look at my photo albums and probably send you some sappy stupid text! Gals I love you everyday but, today feels extra special.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Are you my mother?

Notice the chicken fried bangs and handsome baby...
I look good but, where's my kid?

I have so many shots of Whit, Whit and Chris, Whit and the cats, so on etc! Sometimes in the midst of making dinner or watching Sprout I make Chris whip out the camera and start snapping. Given my face is undone, my hair is a hot mess but, there are pictures to prove I exist! See Whit I actually held you and was around. Not just behind the camera screaming at you to roll over or smile!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I want it, gotta have it, and I hate it!

Things I did not need to have a baby
*can you tell I am making a Goodwill pile as we speak??

A bathtub: Whit can barely float let alone sit. The tub and sink are just fine.

A system car seat / stroller: They are similar to a trapper keeper! They look great but just buy the notebook! Practical idea but, a big ass waste.

Newborn clothes: My kid came out ready to eat solids. Nough said!

Swaddle blankets: Meatball barely fit. We needed the beefy xxxl size of swaddle blankets.

Coats.: Have you ever tried to get a newborn in a coat? It is a legal act of torture in Singapore.

Bottle warmer: Whit takes it on the rocks with a twist of Mylicon!

Super sized momzilla undies: Really??? My normal VS's worked just fine !

Things I could not live without

Gas drops: I would bathe in them! They make my life and, more importantly, Whit’s life better.

Swaddle torture velcro blankets / Summer Infant: Whit could not break free and they come in extra large sizes for the hefty baby.

Bouncy seat: A rockin butt means a busy mom. I can actually use both of my hands and get a moment of peace.

Car seat cover: Prevents need for coat(see above).

Footie PJ’s: Have you ever seen anything sweeter? Love them. Will sob with beefcake grows out!
Earth's Best: I am not too hippie crunchy but, I do like organic food. Whit seems to enjoy each 1st food. Saves me the time/effort of being baby food Betty Crocker!
BornFree: This is the greatest company ever. They found passies when no stores had stock and even sent me a free bottle when one broke. Holy, customer service!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Are we there yet?

Ours comes in 3 parts because they are very distinctive. Infertility, Pregnancy, and Birth. You know that asterisk that appears as a warning sign stating read this before. Our experience is that damn asterisk! We put the “buts” and “maybes” into all things pregnancy! Here is our saga.

It took forever to get pregnant. 20 months total. I thought I was broken. My husband would leave me and I'd be a barren old spinster with 15 cats! We finally went on fertility drugs. After 4 rounds we were spent figuratively and literally. Our last month of treatment would have been our final. We resolved "trying" to have a baby was taking its toll. I had gone to the doctor following our last treatment and was given a big zero. No pregnancy. In my mind I thought it was over. Two weeks later a co-worker commented on my bubbies looking much fuller. I didn't put 2 and 2 together but, it made sense. My body did feel a little different and the girls were certainly in full effect! I emailed Chris and told him I was leaving work and taking a pregnancy test. He was skeptical because of what our doctor said at our last appointment. I went home and got a trickle out. It was barely enough to even turn a result. After 1 mintue I checked and there were 2 lines! I started freaking out. Pacing and panting. My body went into shock. I started gulping water, OJ, and anything I could get my hands on. I had to take another test. I called Chris and told him that we may be pregnant! Following an hour of hardcore chugging I could pee again. Sure enough those 2 lines came up again. Both of us could not believe that there were actually lines. Multiple lines. Two entire lines. We didn't hug. We didn't jump. We both just stood in disbelief. I know we smiled. I know we were happy. Both of us just seemed frozen. The entire moment is a daze.

4 weeks Pregnant: Our first trip to the ER. . I had awful cramping and some spotting. An ultrasound and fluids drawn. My blood and urine were positive. No sak found. I sat and sobbed. Chris just held my hand. We both seemed so lost. After hours of waiting my OB/GYN came down to the ER. She reviewed all of our charts, sonograms, blood, etc. Dr. K still thought everything was positive. We left and 2 days later attended our scheduled appointment. All signs still pointed to a healthy pregnancy. My abdominal pain was due to the amount of fertility drugs I consumed.
8 Weeks Pregnant: Ultrasound confirmed our baby was ok. Our family was beginning.
19 Weeks Pregnant: Back in the ER. Horrible pelvic pain. I cried the entire ride over. I had an infection and was able to receive treatment. The infection was caught prior to causing any harm. Both baby and I were going to be ok.
20 Weeks Pregnant: We were going to find out the sex of our baby. Both of our families were in town to celebrate and shop. I had dreams of a little girl. My biggest concern with the ultrasound was if I was carrying a boy how would I react. Driving to the appointment I was mentally coaching myself to accept the blue team. Sure enough my coaching paid off. There was a baby boy in my belly. I don't think I was sad but, more scared. I didn't know boy stuff or how to care for a boy. My doctor’s appointment followed. Chris and I sat in the waiting area thumbing over the ultrasound pictures. In my head I kept repeating, "it’s a boy". A nurse called us back and I assumed a normal check up was to come. I was wrong...very wrong. Our doctor told us that our baby, our boy, had markers for Downs Syndrome. My heart shattered and my tears exploded. I remember looking at Chris and breaking down. The baby's gender was dead issue. I now just wanted my baby to be normal. Our doctor ran down lots of words and catch phrases trying to reassure us. My heart just sank further. Prior to leaving we scheduled an appointment with a specialist who could examine further and give more clarity. We went home following the appointment to a house full of family. I could barely walk into the room. The tears boiled over and I sat alone in our bedroom. My mom actually broke the news to everyone. I felt selfish for wanting a girl. I felt broken knowing my baby maybe different.
21 weeks: The ultrasound tech at the specialist was so kind. She made our baby the focus and really somehow made a gloomy day seem almost special. After the tech performed the screening we met with Dr R. Dr. R told us more bad news. Our child had more markers for Down Syndrome. Things went from bad to worse. The only true way to tell if our child would have Downs was to perform an amnio. The Dr rattled off all the pros and cons. The list of cons seemed so terrifying. Chris and I both felt that not knowing would be worse than knowing. After signing all releases I was on the table. A needle the size of my arm going into my full belly. I don't remember pain. I don’t remember fear. I just remember wanting my baby to be alive and healthy.
22 weeks: The days leading up the results Chris and I were zombies. We barely ate. We’d lie awake in bed. We stared at each other and cried. Waiting was the worst part. Our minds could wonder away and instantly go to the worst. We wanted to know our family’s destiny. Days after our amnio a nurse called us. I remembered this particular nurse because she was soothing me during the amnio. She had a soft voice. In her muted tone she sweetly said the preliminary results look good. Your baby appears to be chromosomally normal. I hung up the phone and smiled bigger than I ever had. I knew we still had more test results floating out in space but, I knew this was big. This meant it was highly likely our child was going to be ok.
23 weeks: Our boy was going to be ok he was normal. He was ok.
24 weeks and on: Things seemed to calm down. We still had minor hiccups but, considered those instances to be our brand of normal! After all we were just grateful to be having a healthy little boy. Obviously, we both survived!

People told me that woman who have challenging pregnancies have easy births. They are all big liars! My water broke early morning August 21st. I was excited maybe even giddy. My mind and body were tired. I was done being pregnant and the moment was finally here. Chris, my mom, and I drove to the hospital. We arrived at 7:30 AM. My DR was actually about to go off her rotation but, said she would be in tomorrow to check on me and the baby. She explained that there were other doctors on call that day but, they were all equally great. The nurses hooked me up to all the correct instruments. For hours we sat, and sat, and then sat some more. No contractions. No pain. Was I having the easiest labor ever or was something wrong? Nope, the fact was, my water had broken and nothing else had started. The 1st (notice I say first) DR on call decided to let me sit a while longer then around 3 PM start pitocin. My pitocin drip consistently went up with each passing 30 minutes. Contractions would start then stop. Around 4 a.m. I was done. I was exhausted and hungry. There was no energy left in my body. My real breaking point was when the 2nd on call DR came in and said I was only 4cm. Bring out the drugs! I had a total of not 1 but, 3 epidurals. Time 1 missed and time 2 worked and time 3 was at the very end (yes there is an end). Due to the epidural my body started shaking uncontrollably. My mom covered me with blankets and rubbed my head. Chris caught some sleep next to me. At 7 AM my drugs wore off. I was in horrible pain. The worst pain I can describe. My back and lower stomach felt like they were both being stabbed. Nurses came in and out. And DR 3 came to check my status. I still wasn't at 10 cm. At that point I went exorcist. My husband told the nurses his wife was no longer present. I was sobbing and wincing in pain. I really did not know if I would have the strength to push. I begged for a c-section. Sobbed and begged to get my baby out. Finally my DR was back on rotation. We were in labor for 26 hours. It was August 22nd. The Dr, my actual Dr, checked my status. And I was at 10 cm. She saw my pain. I remember her face. Dr. K seemed shocked and appalled I was still there. An anesthesiologist came in and the only words I remember hearing were, "give her a surgical dose". I scanned the room and saw my mother with nurses and Chris was MIA. I believed I was going in for a c-section My fear kicked in because I didn't know what was happening and I didn’t see Chris. Dr K came in and told me she wanted me to push once and see where we get. She coached me and told me I could do this. My husband came back into the room and it was go time. Chris was at my head and my mom at my hip. Dr K's smooth voice told me to imagine a beach. Imagine peace. I did my best and I guess that was good enough. We moved forward and I continued to push. Chris was in my ear the entire time. And my mom gave me reassuring looks. After 15 minutes there was a head. 10 more minutes and HE was here. Dr. K held him up and quickly began to suction his little nose. They took him to the warmer and Chris stood by him. Chris told me every detail and I talked to my baby across the room. I kept saying his name, "Whit, its mommy." He turned toward my voice and I know we met each other across the room. My baby was brought over to me by a nurse. Placed on my chest. He was mine. Whit Patrick was here. I loved Whit instantly. I couldn't remember the past 26 hours or 29 months. We had a healthy baby boy. I watched as my husband held his son and my mother held her grandson. This little piece of time is perfect. I can't find any flaw.

The End??
We have a healthy baby boy named Whit. He is a loud, fat, and downright happy boy. When I look at him I see 29 months of tears and joy. I see my husband. I see my life. I see our future. Parenting is the hardest and most awesome experience. I am excited to see where Whit takes us.

This story is far from over. Hell, my kid isn’t even a toddler yet! I wanted to write down the beginning so I simply didn’t forget or block it out. One day I’ll look back and actually see how Whit got here. What we did. I would not take back one second of anything. Not fertility meds and an epic pregnancy. These things happened because they were supposed to. Everything was for Whit.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Off with your head

I want to be British. I want to eat scones, wear funny hats, and kill small woodland creatures while on horseback. The upcoming royal wedding is my super bowel.

How a royal wedding compares to the Superbowl

Party food : nachos ; collated cream
Game day apparel: jersey; funny large bird adorned hat
Halftime show: Black Eyed Peas; Sir Paul McCartney
Cocktails: keg beer; high tea
Location: The New Texas Stadium ; The Motherland, jolly ole' England
Guest List: Athletes and some Celebs ; The Queen of Sweden
Seriously, does this sound fabulous? I think I am actually going to host a viewing party with some close girlfriends who would appreciate the pump and circumstance!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Two tickets to the gun show

This will only get heavier. Shouldn't something with air in the title be light?
These cheeks will only get bigger...

I'd like to thank safety first and my 19lb son for my arms. I've never had arm muscles or tone but, now thanks to my "bundle" of joy i am a proud member of the gun club! I can't see
W lasting in this seat or my arms keeping up.

She's a BITCH

I have decided in my next life I am coming back as Jiggy from The Real Housewives of BH. Bitch has got it made! Is it sick that a dog lives better then most people? I am totally down with a lush dog house and being carted around in a Bentley...just sayin.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Man in Motion

The best boy ever...Seriously...EVER

Whit knowing he is a big deal

Look at the motion

Big news at Club Kilcoyne, Whit Patrick is rolling over! I am super impressed but, Whitter doesn't seem phased. He just looks chill. As if he came out doing this trick! I feel this new skill makes him the smartest baby ever. He would be president of all the babies ever. Can you tell I am a proud mama! Here are some pics of him in motion.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

Goal: Have a baby = Success!
Goal: Loose baby weight = Double Success!!
Goal: Have my body back after baby = FAIL
Maybe I live in a bubble ( thank you PEREZ HILTON) but, I totally believed that if I lost the baby weight my body would instantly bounce back. LIES! I have lost the baby weight plus a few extra LBS and still don't have my body. Will my saggy belly defy gravity? Will my stretch marks magically vanish? Will my belly button always be a little bit lower? Vagina (feel free to add your own ironic hmm sound)? Will I ever be on the cover of People Magazine rocking a bikini? The answer to all is NO, NEVER, AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!! In fact I am pretty certain that life will only be saggier!
I am not going to idealize embracing change or accepting this new figure. Instead I choose to pout. I am going to mourn the passing of gravity. Bottom line is, I love my son and I frankly am too vain not to love myself! I'll have my temper tantrum now and get over it by the time baby #2 rolls around!

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