The STROKE of midnight

The past two weeks I keep thinking about one line from Disney’s Cinderella. At the stroke of midnight all will be broken. Albeit Cinderella, it makes sense for this moment in time. Ironically fitting at one point things are just a dream and the next they are shattered. 15 days ago Chris was rushed via ambulance to the ER with stroke symptoms. 10 days after that my dear husband was experiencing the same phenomena. He lost function of his body, forgot me, forgot our son, lost speech, and was a shell of himself. Hours passed and Chris slowly came back to life. His memories getting stronger. His body becoming less stricken by numbness. The whole incident was washed away by my husband’s normal humor. What happened? What went wrong? Doctors ran test after test. . Chris suffers from complicated migraines that mimic stroke symptoms. It can and will happen again. We know there was no evidence of brain loss . Chris is now taking a medicine the helps with seizure disorders as well as the prevention of migraines. We are waiting to see a specialist at either Johns Hopkins or UVA. 15 days ago my life was dull. My life was seemingly happy with bumps (a fat day, no shopping, a fight about the dishwasher). In an instant an entire life just flashed before my eyes. More children, a future, our son, my husband’s condition, and me as caretaker. If Chris did have a stroke would Whit ever know him? What would I do? How would I provide enough love and time? Could I be someone’s partner? Such cruel questions to reflect on but, they all crossed my mind. In answering each of these questions the only answer I knew to say was “for better or worse”. This is the worst. This is my husband. This is my life. I couldn’t leave or escape. My only known now and then is THIS is what marriage is. Not the white dress, joint checking, or a sweet baby but, two people forged together out of love. Frankly, I don’t know where things stand. I know for the moment Chris has remained symptom free for 6 days. I feel out of control. My eyes can burst into tears at any moment. Whit is holding me together. I just want health for my family. We go day to day. Now I try and look at each day. Embrace my son and my husband because it can all literally go away in one clock stroke.